Roshi opened his talk this week by congratulating everyone who participated in Yorktown Zen’s recently completed Fall Sesshin. He acknowledged the hard work and diligence that each participant brought to their practice during the retreat. Throughout the Sesshin, Roshi focused on the theme of forgiveness, and he used this talk to bring that exploration to a close.

Forgiveness is not a topic often emphasized in Zen. We more commonly discuss fear, delusion, and other mental habits that obscure our clarity. However, over the past few weeks, Roshi chose to highlight forgiveness because it is essential for genuine progress on the path. Before continuing, he reiterated a meditation he encouraged us to repeat daily:

• To those who may have caused me harm — I offer my forgiveness.
• To those whom I may have harmed — I ask for forgiveness.
• For any harm I have caused myself — I offer my forgiveness.

Roshi also reminded us to ask ourselves whether we would truly want to trade places with the person who wronged us. If the answer is no, then why give that person space in our minds? He encouraged us to consider how little we actually know about those who hurt us and how unreliable our assumptions often are — perhaps no better than a coin toss. Forgiveness, then, is grounded in recognizing the suffering of others, acknowledging our limited understanding of their lives, and accepting that our judgments may be only 50 percent accurate at best. Given this, the most skillful choice is to forgive rather than to cloud our own minds with resentment and anger.

Equally important, Roshi emphasized, is extending forgiveness to ourselves. Without self-forgiveness, forgiveness toward others becomes almost impossible, and the mind becomes increasingly burdened with self-directed anger.

To illustrate these points, Roshi shared a story about a friend of his. As a child, this friend was neglected by his parents and bullied by his older brother. After high school, he left home as quickly as he could and kept his distance. Over the years, his parents died, and the older brother ensured that Roshi’s friend received none of the inheritance he had been promised. Even decades later, the older brother continued to bully and cause needless suffering.

Recently, the friend described a dream he had. In the dream, he saw a crying child being harassed by the older brother. The adult dreamer stepped between them to protect the child, saying, “There is nothing you can do to me.” As he stood his ground, a bubble formed around the bully, containing him. The bully grew furious, but he could do nothing. Immobilized, the dreamer could have imagined a weapon and destroyed him — but instead, he chanted the Metta Sutra to his older brother. At that moment, the dream ended, and the friend awoke with a lighter heart.

Roshi explained that the story illustrates an essential truth: revenge is never a real solution. It only perpetuates a cycle of harm. The only honest path forward is compassion — recognizing the suffering of others, acknowledging the limits of our understanding, and knowing that anger and revenge harm us far more than the one we resent. Roshi wrapped up by noting that as we enter the winter season, the days become shorter and colder, which naturally affects our energy. When we fixate on the wrongs others have done, our energy drains even further. If we must engage in rumination, he suggested turning instead to the Four Bodhisattva Vows. Living according to our deepest values is energizing; clinging to anger is not — and it exhausts us.