Tesshin was traveling last week and used his talk this week to recount  his trip to Pittsburgh to visit his elderly parents.  Everyday life, it seems, acts as a teacher and points to the really important matters in life.  For instance, visiting his elderly parents served to reinforce the need to be really present with people.  It may be the last time you ever see them.  Tesshin challenged the group to treat every person like it was the last time you were going to see them.  Can we do this? – it is not easy!  It takes real mindfulness to approach each and every person this way.

 

While in Pittsburgh, Tesshin also attended his 40 year class reunion.  Right before the event he received an article where the Dalai Lama is quoted as saying …

 

“Love is not the opposite of hate, but rather the absence of judgment”

With this thought in mind, Tesshin recounted that there was a surprising lack of judgment at the reunion.  After 40 years everyone in the class had gone through life’s trials.  There were people present who have lost loved ones, had divorces, suffered medical issues, had lost jobs, and every other kind of malady one can think of.  It is interesting to note that this suffering brought everyone together and made everyone understand that we are all essentially all looking for the same things in life – namely the alleviation of suffering!  This is the wisdom which experience and age provide.  Perhaps this is why wise people tend to be much more understanding of other people.

 

For Tesshin, visiting his parents and his old high school colleagues brought up the age old question – really the most important question…  Who are these people?  Who am I?  What am I?  Working with this question is the heart of our training.  Of course, a Zen master will always see life in terms of the big question – but so can we.  The Buddha taught that everyday life is always trying to teach us to deal with the “Big Question.”   We just have to slow down the internal dialog long enough to hear the lesson and commit to work to understand it.  

 

Living this way naturally prevents us from indulging the petty judgments we normally make about people.  If we focus on who and what we are, then we quickly realize that all the small details we focus on about others are much less important.  That other person is a sentient being looking for happiness and to be free from suffering.  They are not a salary, a job, a religion, or a political affiliation!  They deserve our love and full attention.

 

Tesshin wrapped up by noting that acting this way will not just make others happier, it will also make you happier and at peace.