Rōshi returned from a sesshin at Tetsugyuji, his monastery in Japan. While there, he had the privilege to meet with Aoyama Rōshi, the abbess of the only Buddhist nunnery in Japan. The 30-minute appointment turned into almost two hours, so much did they enjoy each other’s company. He was able to get permission for sangha member Soshin to join the nunnery.

Another sangha member, Heiun, started training with Rōshi around the mid-90’s. He received the mu koan at that time. During this sesshin, he got kensho, surprising everyone.

Rōshi noted that Heiun moves at his own pace, and his gaining kensho is a testament to what constant practice will do. Every time you practice, he said, things are changing. Sometimes it’s subtle, and you don’t see it, but just by the laws of physics, things are changing. Atoms are changing. Your breath is changing.

In his discussion with Aoyama Rōshi, Tesshin Rōshi told her how his teacher, Ban Rōshi, would joke about Shobogenzo, Dogen’s teaching. He said “I don’t have a clue what any of this means, but I’m going to teach it anyway.” Tesshin asked Aoyama, since she is famous for teaching Shobogenzo as well, what she thought of this. 

Aoyama Rōshi started studying Buddhism at age 5, and is 94 now. She said that she’d had a lot of time to study, even compared with the old Chinese masters, who would often die by age 40. And she agreed with Ban Roshi that, even after astute and deep study, there is a limit.

But she said a transition for her came a number of years ago when she had a series of health scares. She said it was during the medical scares when she was between life and death that, all of the sudden, these large portions of Shobogenza became clear to her. It wasn’t the academic study, it was life itself that opened the door for her.

Rōshi said he was thinking of this in terms of Heiun’s experience. He started 25 or 30 years ago, and when he started, he couldn’t crack it with all his youthful energy. But life happens, and you get experience, and then life deepens. It becomes more flavorful. And all those things in your life, which are really hard and rough, give you depth and insight, which when applied appropriately lead to this level of insight and liberation. 

When they were about to part ways, Heiun told Rōshi that for many decades he had been looking at the images of Shakyamuni sitting on a lotus, and the lotus is rooted in the mud. And it is the mud that enables the lotus to bloom. He said, this is the first time he’s really understood that image.

All this hardship in life, all this struggle, this is what actually leads to understanding. 

“I’m so grateful”, he told Rōshi.