There is a man that Roshi follows sometimes who is a very well spoken “Zen Priest” who never actually got ordained, never went through the years of practice. They read a number of books and thought it was cool, and they found the robes somehow, and they have a fairly successful large sangha. Occasionally because the person is very well-spoken, he will listen to their teishos, and their teishos are lovely. They’re not Buddhist, but they’re lovely. They’re largely based on popular Psychology, positive Psychology, and in many ways Christianity, in the guise of Buddhism, because that is what sells. There are a lot of teachings about love. Love is a great thing! It is the core of Christian theology though. It is not the core of Buddhist theology.

Another thing that is interesting is that Roshi is the ‘token Buddhist’ for all these interfaith groups, and he remembers going to one of them once. There was a priest from another group who was there, lovely guy, but their church is widely regarded as a cult. So Roshi pulled the organizer aside at the end of the lovely meeting and said, “I’ve got a quick question for you. What are the rules here about legitimate religions vs. cults joining our group?” The priest said, “Do you know what the difference between a legitimate religion and a cult is?” Roshi said, “No, what?” The priest said, “Time. At one point all of these legitimate religions were cults.” They just survived centuries, and now they’re legitimate. But when they first came up, everyone called them ‘cults.’ So it is not for us to decide whether this cult is a cult or not, he’ll know in ~400 years, come back and ask him then, Roshi joked with a laugh. But for now, we’re all nice people, helping each other, helping the community, so it’s all ‘kumbaya.’ Roshi said, “Oh, great.”

It reminds Roshi of these factors in our tradition, which is quite ancient. When we go back in time and look at the very early Buddhist teachings, sometimes we may look at them and go, “Dude, this is not like Zen at all! This is not koans, this is not the stuff we are familiar with, this is really weird and does not sound Buddhist at all in some aspects.” But Roshi thinks it is important to read them anyway because they are the roots of our tradition, and how we evolved. And some of our core teachings are there. Otherwise they wouldn’t have become the foundation for what it evolved into.

We have done this before, we have looked at these really ancient early Buddhist teachings before, Roshi finds them really fascinating because there are parts of them that sometimes make us feel uncomfortable, and he loves them because they’re so early that you often find these Indian personalities or Hindu gods popping up as part of the stories as well, because that was the time and period. So this one he wanted to share with us today is one of those stories. It has both the appearance of an Indian god, it has parts of it that are really kind of uncomfortable with our modern thinking, and it also has important core teachings of Buddhism in it. The other great thing about these early Buddhist teachings is, particularly the Mahayana ones, they’re shared by all the Mahayanas, so the Tibetan ones in particular will know these stories very, very well, and refer to them in many cases even more than we do.

This is the story of Sadaprarudita, also called the ever-weeping bodhisattva, or the always-crying bodhisattva, or as Roshi likes to sometimes say, the little baby buddha, just crying all the time. Roshi would like to share the story of this crybaby. This is early on, sometime after the passing of Shakyamuni.

There was a young monk, very very serious, praying very very hard, who had made all kinds of advancements, but had known that the one thing he really could not grasp was the concept of emptiness, which is really at the core—ku, mu, avar—of Buddhist teachings. By the way this is why this is the only person he refers to who never talks about emptiness because it is a hard ticket to sell, and because they didn’t do any training, they have no clue about what that experience is like, so how could they talk about it? But this particular monk who was very, very serious, because they knew that there was a gap in their own spiritual understanding, he felt very, very sad about that, and was very disappointed in themselves, and would cry over it. In a weepy sobbing tone, Roshi says, “Oh, if I only understood emptiness I’d be such a good bodhisattva, I’d maybe become a buddha, I don’t get it, I don’t get it,” and would cry. That is how they got their name, the ever-crying or the crying baby bodhisattva.

In their practice, they were kind of obsessed over this lack, but it didn’t deter them from their sitting, from their practice. After a long period of time, in a dream, they had a vision. The vision was there was a teacher in the east that could give them this insight. Didn’t know where in the east, didn’t know the teacher’s name, didn’t know the city, just, “Go east, young man. Go east, go east.” The young monk didn’t really have much money, but took the money they had, bought supplies, packed up the few possessions they had, and just started walking east, not knowing anything. He would walk and walk and walk, for days, for weeks, and never arrived. Always had this dream, go east, but never found this teacher. At one point he kind of broke down and, you guessed it, started crying. In a weepy sobbing tone Roshi says, “I’m never going to get there! I’m walking, I’m so hungry, why am I even following this dream??” Crying, crying, crying.

He goes to sleep and has another dream that says, “It’s right in front of you, this teacher is right in front of you, in the next city.” So he got really, really excited. “I’m finally going to meet my teacher, I’m finally going to get this insight!” He arrives at the town, and again doesn’t know exactly where, doesn’t know the name of the teacher, but knows that the teacher is on the other side of the town, and realizes that, as is custom, you can’t just show up at a teacher’s place empty-handed, that’s rude. You need to have some kind of offering to give to the teacher. But he had no money left, he had nothing left, and he didn’t know what to do. “How do I get money to get some incense or some flowers or some offering for this teacher that is going to open the door to my great enlightenment?” He had nothing, so he decided that he had no choice but to sell himself, that he would sell himself, get some money, and then he’d have something to offer.

He goes into the middle of the town where all the merchants are, everyone is selling everything, stands there in the middle, and loudly says, “I’m for sale! Buy me! I’ll do anything you want for money, I need money, this is all yours.” As he is making this announcement selling himself, the demons are watching, in some interpretations Mara is watching, who he gets really concerned and goes, “Oh my god, here is this incredibly advanced bodhisattva, they’re about to meet this great master. If that happens they will become a great buddha, and hat’s a problem for us. We can’t have a lot of great buddhas walking around, because they’ll eliminate all the Mara, all the delusion, all the depression, and our job will get a lot tougher. We have to stop this person. Look at the extent they’re willing to go, to sacrifice, for enlightenment.” So they got very, very concerned and said, “Alright, we’ve got to do something to stop this dude, got it.” So they cast a spell, and no one in the marketplace could hear what he was saying. They could see him waving his arms, but couldn’t hear any of the words, so he just looked like a lunatic. Mara thought, “Yeah, we nipped it in the bud, this guy is definitely not going to become a buddha, it is not going to be a problem for us.” Just a little crybaby bodhisattva.

Now watching this whole thing was Indra, the great Hindu deity, god of the gods, controls all the elements, destroyer of planets, very very powerful. He is watching this thing unfold and says, “This is strange, this guy is willing to give up everything including his body just for enlightenment, just to understand emptiness, this can’t be true. No one would do that, there must be something behind this. So in a way kind of like the story of Job a little bit, Indra says, “I’m going to test to see how real this guy is.” Indra transforms himself into a very handsome young merchant and approaches this screaming quiet lunatic and says, “What are you doing here? What are you yelling about?” And he explains, “My teacher who is going to teach me emptiness is right across the town, I need to go with an offering, I have no money, so I need to get money somehow. The only thing I can offer is the last thing I have which is my body.” Indra as a young guy says, “Oh wow, it sounds like you are really dedicated to this.” And they say there is nothing else more important. This is the whole ball of wax.

The disguised Indra young man says, “You know what? I have no need for servants, I’ve got plenty of money, I’ve got everything, I don’t need another mouth to feed. So I really have no need for you. But, it just so happens,”—and this is where the story turns to be clearly not of our era—and we have to put a little parental note, ‘Do not do this at home folks,’ but Indra disguised as this young man says, “You know what, but it just so happens that today is a sacrifice day, and normally we do animals, but this particular sacrifice day requires human parts. So I can actually use some of your body for this.” The monk became very, very excited and said, “Yes, of course! Whatever you want.” Indra says, “Well, I’ll need some blood, I need flesh for the sacrifice, I need some bone and some marrow for the sacrifice.” The monk was just so, so excited and said, “Of course, I’ll give you whatever you want,” Sadaprarudita says, “Finally my luck has changed, I was crying before that, like ‘no one will buy my body’ and kept crying, ‘no one will buy me,’” not knowing no one had heard him. He was crying because his karma was so bad, and all of a sudden he’s crying out of happiness this time. “Someone’s going to pay me money for parts of my body! I’m so excited!”

He didn’t even ask for how much, was just so excited, and immediately goes and grabs a knife and said, “It doesn’t even matter how much money.” Indra says, “Well how much do you want?” He says, “It doesn’t matter, whatever you want to give me, it’s fine, it’ll be enough, I’ll buy something with it.” He takes the knife and starts to stab himself in the arm to get the blood to come out. Again, this is not of our era, it is one of these things that does not sound very Buddhist at all. He starts stabbing his arm so the blood comes out and is gathering the blood. He looks down at his leg and starts carving his leg up to take the flesh off of his leg to give to him. He gets down to the bone because the guy wanted bone, and starts to carve out the bone and the marrow to hand over to him. “Yeah it’s gross,” Roshi remarks.

Meanwhile, while this is all happening, in a building next door, there is a beautiful daughter of a very wealthy merchant watching this whole thing going, “What is happening? This is so strange, I need to find out what is happening.” So she quickly comes down, she goes over to him and says, “Why are you doing this?” He goes into great detail about, “I’m on this journey, I’m trying to find emptiness, my visions have brought me here, the teacher is over there, I need to have some kind of offering, this young man has offered me money for parts of my body, I’m delighted—delighted—to be able to give him all these parts of my body, just so I can finally meet this teacher.” She says, “Why?” He says, “Because then I can become a buddha, and then I will be liberated. And all these things that matter so much to me right now won’t matter anymore, I’ll be free of all pain and suffering, and I can be of service to all of humanity.” He goes on about how incredible it will be to become a buddha.

As she is listening to this, she says, “Huh, that does sound incredible. But I’ll tell you what. Stop stabbing yourself please. I’ll give you the money. I’ll give you jewels, I’ll give you diamonds,” she is a very wealthy daughter, “I’ll give you lamps, and parasols, and robes,” and there is a long list of things she is going to give him that he can then offer to the teacher, and she says, “but just please stop stabbing yourself.” “By the way,” she says, “I’ll go with you, and I’ll bring all my people with me. I’ll bring my servants, I’ll bring my family, we’ll all go with you and carry all these offerings for your teacher.”

Indra at this point sees the sincerity of him, sees what’s happening, and transforms back into Indra, this huge golden magnificent being. Sadaprarudita is amazed and says, “Wow, I didn’t realize you were a deity! Maybe you can actually teach me emptiness. You’re this magnificent deity, maybe you can teach me these things that I seek.” At which point Indra says, “I can destroy a planet in the palm of my hands. I can do anything. But I can’t teach you emptiness. And I can’t teach you love. I can’t teach you these things you’re seeking, only the teacher can. But I will tell you the contract that I made with you, I don’t really need any of this stuff, so I agree with her, stop stabbing yourself. Sadaprarudita says, “Ok, I understand you can’t really give me this wisdom, maybe you can do me a different favor.” “What’s that?” “I’m pretty messed up here, can you fix any of this? You’re a pretty powerful god, can you fix this for me? I don’t want to go bleeding and disabled to my teacher’s room.” Indra says, “I can, but before I do that, you must perform one absolute truth.” “What do you mean?” He says, “You must perform one absolute truth, a truth that you have even before you become a buddha, a truth that you were already capable of.” He thinks about it for a second, then realizes, “The truth is, I have the power to heal myself. That is a fundamental truth. I don’t have to become a buddha. I’ve been given that capacity.” So in a state of meditation, heals himself perfectly. Then they go off to meet the teacher, Dharmodgata.

Some people end the story there, because there is a whole other thing about the exchange between the Dharmodgata and him. Roshi will just share what is considered the most important teaching of that exchange, which was when he finally got to meet Dharmodgata, he is sitting there in incredible gratitude, and he says to him, “Shakyamuni has left, he was here and he is gone. My question is, where did he come from, and where did he go?” Dharmodgata said, “The essence of Shakyamuni is the same essence of us, which is emptiness. So when you are emptiness, there is no place to come from, and no place to go to.” He said, “It is like the music of a lute, that our essence, Shakyamuni’s essence, was a culmination of conditions.” You have this existence, and then that changes, and keeps moving forward. So for example with a lute, you could say, “Where does the music come from, and where does the music go?” Well, it’s empty. So does the music come from the strings? Does the music come from the instrument? Does the music come from the fingers plucking it? Does the music come from the mind of the musician playing it? None of those things. The music doesn’t come from any of those things. It is a culmination of conditions. Those conditions create the music, and then conditions change, and that’s where it “goes”—it doesn’t come from a specific place and go to a specific place. That’s our lives. That’s the essence of all things.

You can see how that teaching on emptiness really is the core of all wisdom traditions including ours. It is interesting when that is rarely ever really discussed in so many sanghas, because it’s not an easy thing to comprehend or embody, but it really is from the very, very roots of Buddhist teachings, core. Our entire Heart Sutra is about that.

There are a lot of academics who have done papers on and studied research on this particular bodhisattva who became a great buddha obviously. But he read one line that kind of summed it all up about why he is revered, as controversial as it would seem, and it simply says, “Sadaprarudita, the ever-weeping, always-crying bodhisattva is the ultimate architect of relentless spiritual devotion, personal sacrifice, an unyielding perseverance in the quest for supreme truth. That kind of makes sense.

There are parts of the story that make us a little uncomfortable, which they should. Again do not stab yourself, or cut off parts of your body, that is not our teaching. But you can see in these early teachings these really profound and fascinating characters, so he wanted to share this story with us. A great classic fundamental well-known Buddhist teacher.

A core part of this is sacrifice, and Roshi says he thinks when we cringe at the story, often it is because of our own attachment to our body, that this is a real thing, that this is real pain, this is a real thing I need to preserve, and it kind of shows our attachment to this thing. This is not to say we should destroy it, but it’s a really good barometer of where we are in terms of how we perceive ourselves and the emptiness of our own life. So he says he thinks to that degree it is quite a beautiful, moving story.